that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
