so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
