i already hear my dad disowning me
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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