I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
im holly from the hills drunk
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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