Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
