Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
