You're so nebulous sometimes
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
