I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
