Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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