I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I deserve this hangover.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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