You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
