I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
