plz talk dirty to me
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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