And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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