they need to just BURY HIM!
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
