I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
