that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
