sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Randomize
