I just pynch a tree in the face
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Randomize
