Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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