every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
