so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
