I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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