his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
