thus making me awesome and them whores
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
