My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
