But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
