Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
