Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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