You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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