Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
