Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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