Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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