Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
