My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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