And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
two words: eviction party
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
