i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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