Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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