I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
