i need an iv and a liver transplant
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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