Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
