No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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