I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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