I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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