Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
