I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
whose ass print is on the piano?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
