your room smells of hookers.
And success
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
