All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
