How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
