I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
