hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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