I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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