Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
